is this really what i want?
for what i love to consume my life, until it becomes a mundane chore?
or will i love it enough to continue to love it regardless of how sick of it i get?
i am not sick of the subject matter, or the people or general lifestyle.
i am sick of the amount of work. not because i don't think i can do it, but because i'm not sure i want to.
i've always wanted a simple life. a job, a husband, and kids. but the job i've chosen makes it difficult to have a simple life unless i only focus on the job. do i want the simple life, but a job i find mediocre or worse? or do i want a complicated life, but have all three wants? trade-offs.
i suppose i will focus on the family when it even comes time for that. but the more i get involved in the all-consuming "monastic experience" that is grad school, the more i wonder how many doors its closing on that family goal....
i at least need my master's degree. so until then, i ford.